Aimee's Rantings and Ravings

Drug and Alcohol Use and It's Effects on the Family

2011-02-21T08:26:00.000-08:00

The effect of drug and alcohol abuse on a family is evident whether a child is abusing drugs or a parent is abusing. Family structures have become more complex and the effects of drug abuse on families will also be impacted by different structures, such as step families, multi-generational or single-parent.
Communication and Interaction

According to the National Library of Medicine there are several patterns of interaction in families where drug abuse is present, whether the abuser is a child or a parent. Communication within the family may be negative and the overall mood is often depressed. Rules are erratically set and enforced by the parents, which confuses the children. The result can be bad behavior as children try to get any attention possible without being able to adequately gauge parental behavior. Parents may deny the problem in their spouse or their children and have unrealistic expectations. In some cases drug abuse is a result of self-medication to cope with severe anxiety or depression.

Caregiving

According to the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University, an increasing number of grandparents are now functioning as the primary care givers because substance abusing parents are unable to care for their own children. These children who are raised exclusively by grandparents are also at higher risk for developing drug abuse problems. This may be because the grandparents originally raised the children who had an increased risk for abuse and are now raising the grandchildren in the same environment. According to the Phoenix House Center on Addiction and the Family, a parent's problem with abuse can result in a child's health problems from stress-related illnesses, such as headaches, gastrointestinal disturbances or migraines, and because of inadequate supervision.

Financial Impact

If you abuse drugs, you have a higher risk of losing your job than an individual who does not use drugs. Instability, long-term unemployment and accidents or injuries at work put families under great financial stress. According to the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University, other family members may have to work harder outside the home to make up for the lost wages of the abuser.

Impact on Adult Relationships

According to The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University, there is a shift in roles inside a family experiencing drug abuse that may result in unhappy marriages, physical abuse, sexual abuse or divorce. Even when substance abuse does not end the marriage it may negatively affect its quality. Divorce will increase the risk that children will experience substance abuse and is related to increased levels of partner violence in the home.

Impact on Relationships with Children

According to the Phoenix House Center on Addiction and the Family children endure suffering, confusion and pain in their homes. However, despite the situation children will often blame themselves for their parent's substance abuse believing that if they didn't fight or kept their rooms clean then their parents wouldn't use drugs. Children are frightened, may witness violence and may also suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder with sleep disturbances, anxiety and depression that are associated with victims of crimes. Children in homes where there is reduced stability are also at a higher risk for sexual abuse. Normal relationship lines are blurred and communication has broken down, leading to behavior that would not normally be allowed.

Read more: http://www.livestrong.com/article/86725-effects-drug-alcohol-abuse/#ixzz1EbwQKYCj

5 Myths about Drug Addiction and Substance Abuse

MYTH 1: Overcoming addiction is a simply a matter of willpower. You can stop using drugs if you really want to. Prolonged exposure to drugs alters the brain in ways that result in powerful cravings and a compulsion to use. These brain changes make it extremely difficult to quit by sheer force of will.

MYTH 2: Addiction is a disease; there’s nothing you can do about it. Most experts agree that addiction is a brain disease, but that doesn’t mean you’re a helpless victim. The brain changes associated with addiction can be treated and reversed through therapy, medication, exercise, and other treatments.

MYTH 3: Addicts have to hit rock bottom before they can get better. Recovery can begin at any point in the addiction process—and the earlier, the better. The longer drug abuse continues, the stronger the addiction becomes and the harder it is to treat. Don’t wait to intervene until the addict has lost it all.

MYTH 4: You can’t force someone into treatment; they have to want help. Treatment doesn’t have to be voluntary to be successful. People who are pressured into treatment by their family, employer, or the legal system are just as likely to benefit as those who choose to enter treatment on their own. As they sober up and their thinking clears, many formerly resistant addicts decide they want to change.

MYTH 5: Treatment didn’t work before, so there’s no point trying again; some cases are hopeless. Recovery from drug addiction is a long process that often involves setbacks. Relapse doesn’t mean that treatment has failed or that you’re a lost cause. Rather, it’s a signal to get back on track, either by going back to treatment or adjusting the treatment approach.

Why do some drug users become addicted, while others don’t?

As with many other conditions and diseases, vulnerability to addiction differs from person to person. Your genes, age when you started taking drugs, and family and social environment all play a role in addiction. Risk factors that increase your vulnerability include:

Family history of addiction
Abuse, neglect, or other traumatic experiences in childhood
Mental disorders such as depression and anxiety
Early use of drugs

Long-Term Consequences of Child Abuse and Neglect

2011-02-19T05:23:00.000-08:00

Long-Term Consequences of Child Abuse and Neglect I hope u will take the time to read this research based article on the effects of child abuse and neglect! It's enlightening and full of good food for thought. Click on the title to see the full article.

The Effects of the Father Child Relationship on Self Esteem - From First Love to Self Love

2011-02-17T13:24:00.000-08:00

I hope to start posting a series of blogs containing information on topics that have affected my daily life, the lives of my family, or of what I see affecting the lives of so many in in our society. There are things in my life that I do feel passionately about just as some may about politics, or thier own work. My purpose in sharing is the effort to EDUCATE or just bring awareness to others about REAL life issues that I feel affect our society in many ways. My hope through this effort is you will not turn your head and pretend these issues do not exist and when given the chance, maybe even reach out and try to make a difference in any way that you can, big or small. - Aimee

Can you remember the first boy that you fell in love with? Close your eyes and think about him, for just a minute. What was his name? How old were you? Where were you when you first looked into each others eyes and held each other's hand? Remember how it felt to be with him. When you were together, time stood still. Even when you were amongst a group of friends, you felt special because he was there. The very thought of him was exhilarating. You felt alive.

What a wonderful feeling! I'll never forget the first boy that I fell in love with. It was the summer that I turned thirteen. I was coasting along on my skateboard with my friend close by on hers. That's when I saw him. He was on his bicycle when our paths literally crossed. I don't know what made us all stop, but we did. It turned out that David didn't live very far away and he soon developed the habit of cycling down my street, hoping to find me hanging outside my house or skateboarding around our neighborhood. David was turning sixteen at the end of that summer. It didn't bother me that he was more mature than any boy I ever liked. I was more concerned with how my older brother would handle it, since they were the same age.

Throughout that summer, David and I spent many days together. We talked for hours. He was different from most boys I knew. He was confident and knew how to handle himself around a girl. What stands out most in my mind was the way he made me feel when put he arms around me. I remember that feeling as if it happened yesterday. I was so young and yet, so very much in love. Although David might have been the first boy that I ever loved, he was not the first man.

Think back to the first man that you fell in love with. Remember the first time he held you in his big, strong arms? His kisses were so tender and his touch was so gentle. The warmth of his body against yours was very comforting. Sleep came easier when you felt so secure, so loved. Can you remember? It was so long ago...

Let me help you here...you can't possibly remember how you felt because - you were just a baby. The first man you loved was none other than your father. Imagine yourself as an infant. You came into this world needing warmth, nutrition and human contact. Unless your father was absent the moment before you exited the womb, his arms were the first male arms that were wrapped around your little body. This was your first tactile experience with the opposite sex and though you were just an infant, the bond between you and your father began to develop.

According to the theory of attachment, studied extensively by Konrad Lorenz, bonding is a natural and biological certainty. We know for sure that baby ducks, baby monkeys and human babies are all genetically programmed for bonding immediately following their birth and within the first few days of their life. And their nurturers (mothers, fathers, caregivers) become attached to theses babies, as well.

Unfortunately, not all babies are given the same opportunity to become attached to their fathers, simply because they were physically absent. Born into the world, never bonding with your father may feel as if there is a void in your life which you have been trying to fill ever since.

For a young girl, can the absence of her biological father subconsciously drive her to find that missing link in other men? When her innate need to bond with him is unmet, can she still develop healthy relationships? Wouldn't the powerful love from her mother be enough? Daunting questions which no one knows the answers to for sure.

Yet, the evidence supported by the research and real life stories in the 1st edition of "Father Effects: How Your Father Influenced Who You Are and Who You Love," indicates that without a father's presence in these early years, young girls feel abandoned, hurt and rejected. As a result, their self esteem is low, their self-worth is doubtful and their relationship choices are all connected to finding men just like their father (to heal the wounds) or extremely opposite (to avoid repetition at all costs).

Even with the strongest mother figure(s) there seems to be a deep longing for the love of a man, a father figure that they never had as a young child. Further examination reveals that when the presence of a father is a negative one, it is highly likely for a young woman to seek "love" in the arms of a man, whether he is good for her or not.

The father daughter experience tells us that the desire to be loved by our dads is a deep, emotional need that is rooted in our biological and psychological make up. We feel connected to our fathers because they co-created us. Shouldn't they love us and want to be a part of our life just because of that? And if they don't, if they hurt us or leave us, doesn't it make sense that we personalize it? I know that I felt unloved and insecure when my father left. It took me years to realize that it wasn't about me.

For many women, their father's love was their first love. For others, it was their first disappointment. If your father was unable or unwilling to provide you with unconditional love, even if he was abusive, all is not lost. You need not feel that your low self esteem will never improve and you will never attract a loving partner because of your father's inadequate parenting skills, poor judgment and hurtful acts. You have the power to separate your self from that experience and know that you deserve to be loved.

Your happiness and the success of your relationships depend solely upon one element; You - You and the power of your mind; You and the inner strength that you possess to rise above your darkest moments and saddest heartache.

From this day onward, turn that need for your father's love and approval inward and nurture your Self. Focus on your positive qualities. Embrace your loving heart. Let go of the past, you've been burdened, saddened and affected long enough. And once you're in this process of self healing and self loving, extend those feelings outward to those who would greatly appreciate it: your children, your friends and even your favorite charity.

Shari R. Jonas graduated from McGill University with degrees in Psychology, Human Relations and Family Life Education. She's the author of "Father Effects: How Your Father Influenced Who You Are and Who You Love" and the "Father Daughter Effects Online Guided Workshop". Her personal journey with her own father daughter issues, combined with years of research on this most important relationship is an inspiration to all women who want to understand their father's influence and break negative relationship patterns. The first chapter is available at: http://www.fatherdaughtereffects.com/

Absent fathers: effects on abandoned sons.

by Dennis A. Balcom

Absent fathers are pervasive in American culture. Father absence is pathological and severely affects the abandoned son's capacity for self-esteem and intimacy. The reason for and type of father absence is important in determining the effects on the adult son. This article discusses the impact of a father's absence on his abandoned son's struggle with self-esteem and intimacy and proposes a treatment model for abandoned sons.

Many adult sons abandoned by their fathers have difficulty developing and sustaining self-esteem, forming lasting emotional attachments, recognizing their feelings, or being expressive with their adult partners and children. These men must turn their attention toward their absent fathers and resolve the mystery of their absence to ensure that their current intimate relationships can succeed. The reasons for the fathers' absence are paramount, as these dictate the effects on the sons.

The prevalence of absent fathers across class and ethnic categories suggests that this social problem afflicts many families with profound emotional, developmental, educational, and legal consequences for the abandoned sons. agreements regarding visitation or financial support. Fifty percent of divorced fathers have infrequent contact with their children, according to Bryant (1997).

MSC v. Forest City 6/15/2010

2010-06-16T18:14:00.000-07:00

Well our first swim meet was off to a "Wet" start! We traveled to Forest City for a dual meet. Caleb, Josh, Rahlee and I met up with the cousin's Ian, Jade, Andrew, Adien and Trish. We all faired the sticky warmth of the evening only to be pleasantly suprised as a storm slowly approached and brought with it a gentle "cool breeze". Needless to say, just when I was up to time the second half of the meet, everyone had to clear the deck because there was lightening in the distance. The meet ended up being cancelled, but not before it was clear that Morganton was going to kick some butt, and did! All the kids had already placed or won events they swam. My smile for the night was with Aiden and Andrew and this adorable picture of them in "speedo" goggles. My thoughts were turned to a few years from now when they will be kicking some butt of thier own in the water!

2010 Catch Up!

2010-06-08T17:38:00.001-07:00

WOW! It's been last summer since I posted? Not that anyone has been missing my rantings! LOL! A lot has happened in the past almost one year. I have two new driver's on the road. Michaela got her DL in November and a car in January. She hit the road "driving". She also went to her first Prom, a little early, with her friend Taylor. Caleb turned 15 in February and in April finished driver's ed and got his permit. Caleb is a cautious and precise driver (I like that). Josh and Rahlee have both been busy too. They both scored all 4"s on thier EOG's at school. Needless to say, I was very proud of them. As for me, I made a career change in December and went back to "familiarity" and a job at Caldwell County DSS. I have a small commute each day, but I don't mind. I really like the agency and the people I work with. It has all in all, been a positive move.

So Summer has come upon us quickly. Thursday is the last official day of school. The kids can hardly contain thier excitement! Summer swimming is well under way and we will spend most of our time easing away the heat of the day at the pool in the evenings. We are anticipating several camp opportunities for the kids at various times throughout the summer not to mention vacations. We planted a real garden for our little family for the first time this year. Got a late start, but are in hopes of it yielding some fresh vegetables sometime in July. We'll keep you posted on it's progress.

Tarheel Conference Champions 2009

2009-08-03T14:16:00.000-07:00

This summer my kids and I had to make a decision....do we continue swimming with the McDowell Mariners, my Alma Mater, or make the switch to Morganton Marlins where we live. It makes sense to swim in Morganton, however with family ties and friends, we have continued swimming with McDowell for the past several years. Well this summer we made the switch, and while we missed those whom we've grown close to, it has been a good summer. Saturday, our team won the Conference Championship with McDowell not far behind. We aren't bragging, or glad we switched because we won, just glad because summer has been much less stressful from having to drive one town over every weekday just to swim. I for one was also able to enjoy watching my children swim for once instead of being on the sidelines as a coach! I was proud of all three of my little swimmers this season and past Sat. They were awesome! Way to go Caleb, Joshua, Rahlee, and way to go Morganton and McDowell!!!!

Rafting with Family and Friends

2009-06-13T14:35:00.000-07:00

I was so excited recently to go rafting with my older brother Briggs, my son Joshua, and friends Whitney and Carol. It was a beautiful Memorial Day weekend in the mountains of Tennessee. My thoughts were turned to another rafting trip a few years ago with Briggs again, when half way down the Pigeon River it began the storm. There was lightning illuminating the afternoon sky and the rain was beating down upon us. If you have ever been rafting you know it can be almost impossible going down rapids to just "pull over". Instead of fear, I had one of the most exhilarating feelings I have ever felt in my life! If my experienced guide brother was worried that day, it didn't show.

No rain, and no thunder or lightning this trip, but as I recalled those feelings going down this memorial Weekend, the same peace came over me. Could it be the call of the river? Nature? My calling in life has led me another direction in being a mother, but I secretly admire my brother and his "free spirit". Today is Briggs's birthday and I want to dedicate this blog entry to him. Happy 41st Birthday Briggs - We love you!

Home Improvement Mommy Style!

2009-05-02T21:10:00.000-07:00

Well since I dedicated my entire weekend last week to the kids, Carowinds, and picnics....I decided today I needed to do something to add to the upkeep of our home. I have a ton of projects and wish lists I dream about completing someday, but truth be told, I usually make the excuse I need a "man" to do them or help do them. For some of the projects this is true, but a majority I really think I could do or learn to do if I just put my mind to it. So anyway, this weekend I decided to tackle one of two bedrooms and rip the carpet out. I have hardwood floors underneath which I had professionally refinished in other parts of the house but not these two bedrooms. After some months with two new puppies and almost a year with one of them )had to give one back, too much), the carpet had to go. My first thought was I wonder if I could persuade my ex to do it, but my pride quickly shattered that, (%^$#) pride! So I was off on a mission to boost my self confidence in my ability to be a home owner and independent single woman (with kids that are little help!) I actually got up at 4:30 a.m. on a Sat. I know what your thinking, I am the bomb, getting up that early on a weekend just to get started on projects right? Are you kidding me? I am not that motivated. I actually had to take my eldest son to meet the youth for a temple trip to Colombia S.C. today then I cam back home and went back to bed. I slowly arose again around 8:30 or so, had a bowl of shredded wheat, and a momentary struggle with my lazy side who was trying to talk me out of "working". Wouldn't laying back down, or doing something fun with Joshua (only one at home today), or watch TV or movies all day be so much funner )I know that isn't a word)? As you can see, my "responsible" personality took over. But, once I started I was on a roll. Early on I felt like I could do the boys room as well, but that quickly subsided after my back and fingers stiffened from pulling up tack stripping for several hours. From start; moving furniture out, pulling up carpet and pad, to finish, pulling tack stripping, washing the floor, and moving furniture back in, I was done in about 4 hours. Proud of myself I must say. Nothing like tackling a project like this to boost your self esteem. Now for the boys room. We'll have to wait and see how long it takes to go through this whole self-talk process again - lol!

Pinewood Derby Girl Style!

2009-03-13T17:14:00.001-07:00

Well, when Joshua graduated from Cub Scouts this past year I thought my Pine Wood Derby days were all over. Rahlee just turned 8 years old and is now part of Achievement Days at church on Wednesdays for the 8-11 years old girls (similar to Girl Scouts). And what was the very first activity she gets to participate in but a "derby". Ugh! I thought I had made my last derby car. To my excitement, Rahlee's older brothers took right over and helped her make and paint her car and then assemble it in preparation for "Race Day"! It definitely had the female flare and was lots of fun! I think regardless of what place she came in, Rahlee did too!

Rahlee Is 8!

2009-03-13T17:09:00.000-07:00

Our little Rahlee turned 8 years old on the 3rd of March. Rahlee has her own unique personality with a strong sense of compassion for those around her. She is so smart and loves school. Rahlee celebrated her birthday with a skating party in which she spent more time on the floor than on her feet. LOL! We love Rahlee, she is a special part of our family and brings so much joy into our lives.

Elsa - Our French Exchange Student...Our New Friend!

2009-02-23T18:13:00.000-08:00

We love Elsa! Elsa has been visiting with us for the past ten days. We have fallen in love with this dark haired beauty from the exquisite country of France. Elsa has enjoyed getting to know our American customs and we hers. I have been anxious for the kids to learn more of what it is like to live somewhere other than the United States and to feel grateful for the things they take for granted. The french seem to live simply as Elsa has taught us by her excitement for chocolate chip cookies, television with more than 4 channels, and ipods. Yes, Elsa finally has her first ipod we purchased for her on Ebay (new), but much cheaper than buying in her native country. We are sending her home with it loaded for more than she most likely bargained for (the kids wide array of music off itunes). I'm sure her trip home will be full of memories with each song. "Bon Voyage Elsa!" we will miss you. Can't wait to visit you in France!

Rascal Flatts

2009-02-23T18:07:00.001-08:00

"I LOVE RASCAL FLATTS" Yes, i am in love with this group. I know I shouldn't be so enthralled but what the heck, these days I have to have some excitement in life with the opposite sex. LOL! Joe Don is my favorite as if you couldn't guess by all the pic's. They gave an awesome performance and really shared thier love for God, thier relationships, and for this great country in which we live.

2009-02-13T20:09:00.000-08:00

Caleb turned 14 years old! I was pregnant with Caleb when we moved from Florida to North Carolina. My pregnancy was difficult emotionally and his birth was a welcome relief from that. So we have lived in North Carolina for the past 14 years now. WOW! Seems like just yesterday in some ways and in others a lifetime ago. Caleb is a special young man. He has always had the most perfect smile. Caleb has a very unique personality. One in that he doesn't really care what others think about him. He isn't afraid to be different and is very charming. There is a sensitive side to him as well. Caleb is upset when your upset and happy when your happy. I appreciate that Caleb want to do the right thing. I hope he always chooses to do the right. I can't imagine my life without him! I love you Caleb.

January Fun!

2009-01-20T05:36:00.000-08:00

Well what can I say, 2009 is already here and the month of January is half over. I guess blogging has taken a bit of a backseat for me over the holidays so I need to catch up! The kids and I have been busy most weekends with activities. We went paintballing the first weekend with the Caswell NC Ward Youth. Scott, whom I have been dating, invited us to go with his boys, Brandon and Will to play. Michaela brought along Auby Mears from our ward and much to thier liking, were the only girls who ventured to play, except of course for me, "cool" mom! We had a blast despite the cold weather. I didn't know those things could hurt so bad. The next weekend we went to see the "Monster Truck" show in Greensboro. Am I turning into a "red-neck"?! Last but certainly not least, I am going to see Rascal Flatts this coming Friday in Winston Salem. I Can't Wait!!!!!

The End of 2008

2008-12-12T17:30:00.000-08:00

You know part of me wants to say "I sure hope 2009 is better than 2008", but after doing some visiting teaching last night I was reminded of how blessed I am in my life. I need to look at the glass half full more than half empty as human nature tends to steer me. I truly am blessed. My children and I all are very healthy. We have everything we need to live day to day, a nice home, food on the table, and love in our home (at least most of the time-LOL!) I am not perfect and mistakes seem to happen before I have time to consider things through, but I try. I try to be a good daughter, a good sister, a good mother, aunt, friend, employee, etc. Yes, I am blessed and thankful for life!

Carnival Cruise and the Bahamas

2008-11-03T18:22:00.000-08:00

Well, the kids and I went on the most awesome family vacation.....Carnival Cruise Sensation to the Bahamas. I must say I was hesitant in taking my four plus one more (Michaela's friend Hannah). I mean what was I thinking...four kids, a ship, a different country? But....it turned out to be wonderful. I think a time the kids will remember the rest of their lives. It was magical to see the ship and travel through their eyes. Camp Carnival, twenty four hour pizzeria and ice cream, karaoke, the blue Bahama waters. An added bonus was visiting with family briefly in Florida before we embarked on our journey. Yes, a trip to remember. Can't wait for the next one.

Get Off The Roads - Michaela Turned 15........

2008-10-21T03:07:00.000-07:00

Michaela turned fifteen yesterday and will be driving very soon and I am still coming with the terms that I have a child who is now in High School, let alone will be getting her permit this week (if she gets her way)! Do I really look that old? LOL! Michaela is beautiful and has the most wonderful personality, and is fiercely loyal to her friends and family. These are the things I tell myself when she is testing the boundaries of our mother daughter relationship, (along with "I think I can, I think I can...LOL)! Anyhow - we all went as a family with two of her closest friends to "Habaneros" for dinner last night. The sombreros, fried ice cream, and fiesta were just what we needed to celebrate Michaela's "life". Happy Birthday - Mickey Jean!!! We love you!

Happy Birthday Joshua

2008-10-08T05:05:00.000-07:00

So today marks the eleventh year since my baby boy Joshua was born. I guess he isn't a baby anymore though. He is growing up so fast and even has a little girlfriend named "Jewels" (at least he thinks). This morning we got up early and all went to Shoney's for breakfast to celebrate. I think we will make this a new family tradition on birthday's as it was a hit!

Eleven years ago I flew out to Utah and attended BYU Education week during my ninth month of pregnancy with Joshua. I know pretty stupid! It was a difficult time in my life and I really needed the spiritual re-enforcement I knew the event could bring, and it was just that. Afterwards, my mom and I had the opportunity to attend a live session in the Salt Lake City Temple. I was truly struggling with the fact my marriage was falling a part and I was bringing this little spirit into the world soon to what? It was there Joshua and mommy got to know one another before his pending arrival to this earth. Through a sweet, calm presence, he reassured me it would be "okay mom", that he had chosen to come to earth and to our family, and that he and Heavenly Father knew what they were doing. Then later his baby blessing.....such an inspired blessing by his Poppy Briggs that he had a special purpose in this life.

As Joshua has grown and turned into a most "persistent" young man, I have often questioned that purpose through frustrating moments, but then I have a moment like the other evening.....Joshua and I were working on his state of Idaho report for school and when it came to listing historical events of the state, I found some information on the Mormon pioneers who settled the territories there, and the Idaho Falls Temple. Kind of weighing whether to include that in this particular section, I asked Joshua what he thought and was comfortable with and he replied, "Yes, mom definitely", with such confidence. Those teaching moments for me, not for him, are what I live for. Happy Birthday Joshua - mommy loves you!

An Unexpected Weekend

2008-10-06T08:17:00.000-07:00

We just spent the best two days....at least for the most part. I woke up a little later than usual Saturday morning (except for sleep walking in the wee hours to let the puppies out) with the intentions of painting my bedroom (yes the same one I have planned to paint for the past 4 staturdays!). Anyway, I had the worst headache. Caleb was nice and fixed me breakfast in bed, and I just wasn't motivated to do anything. Next thing I know my kids are asking - yes ASKING if we can go to General Conference. Now something is up with this I thought. I soon found out our good friends the Mears/Lilly clan had called and asked if we were coming. At that point, I didn't even try to resist so I decided in part due to the promptings of my children, and secondly out complete guilt (the prompting of the HG), to get myself out of bed and just go!

I must confess I didn't even know this was GC weekend, isn't that sad? What's worse is that I haven't been to GC in years I don't think. I mean I have tried to watch at mom and dad's or caught a session here and there, but to actualy attend all four session - and with my kids, rare! I usually have to resort to reading the talks in the Ensign. Anyhow, the kids did "pretty good" after being bribed in between sessions Saturday with Subway and driving practice in the church parking lot-Yikes! On Sunday, a visit to the park for a picnic with our friends in between sessions as the weather was gorgeous and couldn't have been a more perfect fit with conference weekend. I thoroughly enjoyed the messages from our General Authorities and Prophet and came away re-newed (until I got home with my fighting children-LOL! JK).

Elaine Dalton, YW General President had a quote that struck with as I re-called my own adversities and tirals. She counseled us to have the internal motto, "In the strength of the Lord, I can do all things." Michaela even volunteered later that she liked Sister Dalton's talk as well about a "Return to Virtue".

I have always looked forward to the simple messages and amazing stories of our beloved Prophet,Thomas S. Monson. He counseled us that this is our "one and only chance at mortal life", and that we need to distinguish between what is important and what is not and "find joy in the journey". This hit me hard. He went on to say if we "pile up enough tomorrows (I'll do it tomorrow), one day we'll find a pile of empty yesterdays and then we'll find we've run out of tomorrows". I struggle with the past. His counsel was "rather than dwelling on the past, make the most out of today". how many times have I heard that, but somehow find if hard to let go of. I think because we let stress get in the way of what is most important sometimes. He ended with a quote I want to hang on my bathroom mirror (yes, I am my mother), so i will end with the same, "Whatever hour God has blessed you with, take it with a grateful hand."

MHS vs. FHS

2008-10-04T19:37:00.000-07:00

So......Michaela is cheering this year for Freedom High School. Michaela seems to enjoy it and was up bright and early yesterday morning as I had to take her to school to help decorate the football players locker rooms at the field house. Go Patriots! In the afternoon, they had a homecoming parade in downtown Morganton. I guess this is only the second year for such a thing. Michaela was so excited all day for the various festivities. Last night was their Homecoming game against the rival McDowell High School Titans. All of my siblings will be happy to know that the Titans won! I went in my MHS pullover along with Rahlee, Joshua, and Caleb and braved the Freedom stands. It was soooo cold. I love it! We all had a good time. Caleb looks forward to being in the marching band next year when he goes in to high school. They had an awesome halftime show and appear to be very competitive in the state. I can't believe I have kids high school age.

Breakfast Anyone?

2008-10-02T05:37:00.000-07:00

Okay, so last night after I went jogging, after we went to Scouts and YM/YW, and after I worked all day, I started making breakfast for Michaela's seminary class. For those of you lucky enough to have participated in school release seminary, those of us in the South arise bright and early with the roosters to take part in scripture mastery. It makes you stronger I believe because it is more of a sacrifice (sorry that's just how I feel). Back to breakfast.....so I made an egg and sausage strata because it had to sit in the fridge overnight, then this morning I got up at 4am to start on the hash brown casserole and put the strata in the oven. While those were cooking, I got ready along with Michaela and Rahlee. Tyler C. was dropped off for a ride and off we went at 6:00am sharp, except I forgot the Sunny D and had to go back. Might I say, breakfast was a hit, along with the doughnuts! After seminary, I dropped of Emily W. @ Patton HS, Michaela @ FHS, picked up the boys at the house, dropped off Caleb @ TRMS, Tyler back at home, and finally Josh and Rahlee at WAYE. You might ask how I am managing to blog after returning home to wash all the dishes before I go into work "late" might I add. Well, it is becoming a stress release. I use to love to keep a journal. That went by the wayside when I had kids, so I think I am catching on to this in the same sense keeping my journal was for me. So happy day everyone who is just beginning their days!

Pop-Up Ads Go "Figure"

2008-10-01T20:52:00.000-07:00

So I have a question. This may have been a coincidence, but I was on MySpace and when I was visiting my totally "hot" friend Damon's page, his pop-up Ad was all about Bowflex. I went back to my page and my pop-up ad was something like "do something about your muffin top, visit Kellys weightloss.com. Was this a coincidence or is someone trying to tell me something? Now, if you check out Damon's pic's you would totally agree his page is the place for a Bowflex Ad because he is ripped! And I guess I would have to concede mine may be more of a place for "muffin top" ads. ;0( LOL!

Graduating From Cub Scouts

2008-10-01T20:46:00.000-07:00

I just realized tonight at our pack meeting that Joshua was graduating from Cub Scouts.....and in that realization, I guess so am I. I will not be in Cub Scouts again as both of my boys are getting older . Which means again, so am I. Joshua received his Arrow of Light tonight. As you can see by the pictures (under October), I completely forgot and he went without his uniform, of all nights! I guess the most important part is we were there and he earned his Arrow of Light Badge. Did you know that this badge and his religious knot are the only two badges he can wear from his Cub Scout uniform when he goes into Boy Scouts? No more Pinewood Derby's or Regatta's. It seems like yesterday he was wearing his orange little Tiger Cub uniform. Where is the time going?

Blogging

2008-09-25T21:03:00.000-07:00

I am going to try and blog more.

Our Home

2008-03-08T15:50:00.000-08:00

Well, it seems as though this is becoming the thing to do in our family. After reading my brother Robbie's blog 4 months ago, I was inspired and intrigued. I thoroughly enjoyed catching up on Robbie and Cecelia's lives and it caused me to refelct on how much we really miss with one another from living so far apart. Since then, I have anjoyed Adam and Trish blogs, Gilliam blogs, even Angela's blog, Therefore, I will share a bit about myself and the kids in an effort to enlighten you all on what has been happening lately in our lives, not that it is very exciting!

As many of you know this past year has been a year of change in our life, as it is for most of us. We moved from Virginia after hopes of beginning a new phase in our lives were abruptly altered. Nonetheless, even though we thoroughly enjoyed Virginia and the aquaintances we made, it isn't so bad to come "back home". We have been so grateful for the many blessings the Lord has seen fit to bestow upon us among the trials that seem to encompass my focus at times.

Since May of 2007, the kids and I have been living in a house in a wonderful established "Brady Bunch Era" neighborhood here in Morganton. My hopes were to buy the house and settle down with the kids and watch them grow and mature into adulthood (some days it can't come fast enough, others I'd like to freeze time). Anyway, back to our new home. I closed on the house the 28th of February-YEAH!. It feels so good to have the burden of not being able to really settle down, out from under us. Now we have a place of our "own", we can truly call home.

Most of our neighbors are pretty "mature" like Bill and Dee, and Pat and Paw. The couples on our street have children who've grown and live far awaywith thier grandchildren so the kids have become kind of like surrogate grandchildren for them. Last July, we all met in one of the neighbors yards for homemade icecream and cookies and brought our lawn chairs to watch fireworks together. Even old Judge Tate who lives at the end of the street came up with his wife. It is just like those neighborhood block parties you seen in magazine spreads for "Jello" - almost perfect!

So I have done some remodeling in the house since moving in. Trish helped me paint over the "pepto pink" almost immeadiately, but then found out she was pregnant and my motivationg came to a halt. I didn't want to go too far since I didn't own the house and really wasn't sure how that was going to happen over the past 9 months. Our main bathroom had a pink bathtub, sink, and toilet with pink tile on the walls. So when we first moved in I thought "What can I do with this without having to make drastic changes?" So I painted the walls chocolate brown and was satisfied with the "Retro" look. Satisfied that was until the shower wall caved in. The home was built in 1964 and while brick and sturdy, after that many years, you can expect things like that to happen. First it was just going to be rebuilding the wall and re-tiling, then I decided to get a new bathtub, and then one day I just gutted the entire bathroom. In hindsight, I wish I had taken before pcitures, but I didn't. But, I am sharing with you a picture of our "new" bathroom. I have dad and Adam to thank for most of the work (even though it took 4 months to get the toilet put back down - LOL!).

Since I decided to venture in to blogging and wrote this, I will now continue almost 4 months later......It is summer, July 13th. I had my hardwood floors re-finished in the LR, bedroom, and hallway, Adam layed tile in the kitchen, and I re-finished the kitchen cabinets. There is still lots to do and while the kids are gone this summer, I am searching for the motivation. Lets hope I find it soon!!!!